Thirteen hours.

That’s how long B1G football games stretched across last Saturday, allowing fans to consume pigskin with their biscuits ‘n’ gravy and morning mimosas through that delicious victory steak and a glass of red wine.

Even though the quality in the B1G wasn’t quite as great as we saw in Week 1, it was still an awesome weekend.

A lot happened across B1G country in the second week of the college football season. There’s plenty to overreact to, as well, so let’s get to it:

That Darn Cat

Overreactions from the B1G will start…in Miami. I’m sorry, did you really think we weren’t going to address the cat in the stadium? There are so many questions.

First off, here’s the video of what happened at Hard Rock Stadium on Saturday:

How did the cat get into the stadium? Did he have money riding on the game? Was he so fed up after watching just one half of Miami football that he thought to himself, “this is enough.”

Fortunately, the fans inside the venue were able to catch the falling feline with an outstretch flag. That is not a joke.

In all honesty, though, the unsung hero of the entire operation was the guy in the upper deck, stretching his hand out and (I assume) telling the cat to trust him. It was like watching Ace Venture attempt to save the falling raccoon in the second movie.

Let’s shut up about “The Alliance”

This isn’t Survivor. We don’t need to hear about the ACC/B1G/Pac-12 “alliance” every time we see Kevin Warren, Jim Phillips or George Kliavkoff. Honestly, I’m almost 100% certain they have no idea what the hell they’re doing either.

Slapping the term “The Alliance” on some sort of gentlemen’s agreement just sounded good, so they rolled with it. Besides, this whole thing kind of lost its luster when USC and LSU scheduled a future matchup approximately 37 seconds after this alliance was announced.

Can we get Joey Moorpoints back in the B1G? Please?

OK, actually, we are going to talk about “The Alliance” one more time. Why? Part of the contract, whenever it’s actually written, should include a clause that sends Joe Moorhead (AKA: Joey Moorpoints) back to the B1G. His offenses are incredibly fun to watch and we need more of that.

Sorry, Ohio State.

Faceplants…faceplants everywhere

Maybe there weren’t faceplants everywhere but there were certainly two pretty embarrassing moments in Columbus and Ann Arbor. Back in front of fans for the first time in well over one year must’ve been too much pressure.

First, an Ohio State drum major was tripped up out of the tunnel before the first performance of the year. Unfortunately for the Buckeyes, it turned out to be a bad omen.

A few hours later in a state a little further north (I could not help it), an official did his best impression of that Buckeye drum major. He, too, got a little too carried away and landed face first on the turf.

The official did not seem to get quite as much attention.

I-L-L….Why-Oh-Why

Saturday was…not pleasant. So much so that Illinois actually changed it’s popular spelling bee chant to appropriately reflect the thoughts and feelings of the fanbase.

That may or may not be true, but what is actually true is Illinois looks much worse than it did in that season opener against Nebraska two weeks ago. The Illini have been bitten pretty hard by the injury bug and they just don’t have the same playmakers on the field right now.

If some of those guys don’t get healthy fast, it’s going to be a long season.

Saddest Buckeye fan alive?

We might have an overreaction within the overreactions.

Look, I get it. When your favorite team loses, it sucks. It’s even worse to drop a game as a two-touchdown home favorite against a Pac-12 team that was playing without two of its best defensive players. Being upset is just fine.

It’s also Ryan Day’s first regular season loss as Ohio State’s head coach in what amounts to two full seasons. I don’t have that much sympathy.

Michigan: Football state

Last year, the (B1G) state of Michigan combine for 4 total wins in 13 games played. So far, the Wolverines and Spartans have combined for 4 wins in as many games. That’s a pretty solid improvement from 2020.

Unlike Texas, it seems like Michigan (the entire state) is back!

What was that, Mr. Ferentz?

Can something be awesome, hilarious and confusing all at once? If you don’t believe in that kind of black magic, then I dare you to watch Kirk Ferentz’s interview with Holly Rowe after Iowa’s 27-17 win over Iowa State. You’ll come away with the same thought.

Let’s see if you can spot it:

Much like Iowa, I think Ferentz’s response to Rowe’s question was 75% vowels and 100% awesome.

Clearly, Ferentz is too classy to call out anyone in the media who showed (waaaaaay) too much respect to Iowa State. He probably really wanted to say “the haters can shove it!” or something along those lines while eating a vanilla ice cream cone.

Instead, we got that awkward laugh. We’ll take it.

Stop scheduling FCS opponents

Remember when the B1G outlawed teams in the conference from putting FCS opponents on the schedule? What a beautiful time that was. Can we go back to that?

I understand the finances of the situation. These teams leave B1G country with a nice paycheck, B1G teams get one win closer to bowl eligibility and secure an additional home game. Economically it makes sense.

This weekend, though, it was horrible television. The B1G outscored its four FCS foes 184-34. That’s not even counting the Purdue-UConn game, because who knows how to actually classify the Huskies at this point.

A special day in college football

Ending this week’s overreactions on a serious note seems important. We all should be appreciative and commend all 14 B1G universities for their efforts to remember 9/11, those who lost their lives and the servicemembers who continue to fight for our freedoms.

Every team wore a special uniform, participated in a unique pregame or halftime show or had a tribute planned for the 20th anniversary of that horrific and tragic day.

Thank you.