Give Kenneth Walker III the Heisman Trophy right now. He can carry college football’s most prestigious individual honor in one arm and the Paul Bunyan Trophy in the other.

He’ll probably run over a few more Michigan defenders in the process.

The Michigan State running back saved one of his greatest performances of the season for one of the most important moments. Walker piled up 197 yards and 5 touchdowns in a thrilling 37-33 victory.

Yeah, Tuck Comin’. Jim Harbaugh, on the other hand, is still losin’.

All that hype about this being Michigan’s year? That’s all out the window … again! Despite the hot 7-0 start, it looks like this is still a “good” Wolverines team, not an “elite” one.

Too much praise for Michigan State and K-9? Too harsh on Harbaugh and the Wolverines? That’s just the starting point for this week’s overreactions.

A true Battle of the Bands

Did you think The Best Damn Band in the Land was going to sit idly by and allow “That Band Up North” to throw shade without some sort of response? Well, if that was the case, you thought wrong.

Quick refresher for those who missed it: Here’s what Michigan’s band did last week during its halftime show:

Michigan, for whatever reason, decided to poke the bear. Ohio State wasted no time in firing back at the Wolverines, using a Muppet-themed halftime show to get the point across.

The point, quite simply, was to imply that Michigan is trash:

Hey, that’s what Ohio State’s band is saying, not me. I’m just the messenger.

For what it’s worth, I think all halftime shows should be dedicated to trolling a rival school. It’s 1000% more interesting and entertaining that way.

Too soon…

While we’re on the topic of Michigan, we have to address the premature Paul Bunyan celebration. As fun as it might be to pose as the coveted trophy in the end zone when you have a 16-point, it’s probably best to save it until after the game ends.

Mike Sainristil is going to learn that lesson the hard way.

Sports Betting in Big Ten Country

There is big news coming to the upcoming 2022-23 Big Ten football season (and NFL season). Ohio online sports betting and Maryland sports betting are on the way.

21+ and present in OH. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.

I will admit, if I scored a touchdown in this intense rivalry game, I’d strike the pose, too. I’m also not athletic in any way, shape or form and the closest I’ve been to an end zone is when I was on the field at Lucas Oil Stadium for B1G Media Days in July.

What was I talking about? Oh right, striking the Paul Bunyan Trophy pose before the game has actually been decided.

Don’t do it. If your on the wrong side, it’s just going to be 365 days of trolling from the other fanbase.

East Lansing definitely started the fire

Are you noticing a theme early in these overreactions? It’s only fair that a good portion of this be dedicated to the biggest (and probably best) game from the weekend. Michigan State scored the most important victory of Week 9, and East Lansing is on fire.

Literally. No, seriously.

Obviously, the best way to celebrate any major victory in college football is to do things:

  1. Attack parked cars
  2. Start fires

There is clearly an instruction manual provided on these celebration methods at Michigan State. Just look how well everyone was following the rules after the game!

 

Greg Schiano, a man of his word

During his weekly press conference on Monday, Schiano urged Rutgers fans to stick with the team despite the 4-game losing skid. He promised that the arrow was pointing up and that things would change.

I’m not sure if Schiano is a fortune-teller or just really good at keeping his word. Rutgers scored a 20-14 win over Illinois to snap the losing streak and get to 4-4 on the season. Bowl eligibility is still a possibility.

What do you think Schiano promise next week?

Jack Sanborn. Football Guy.

Need help defining the term “Football Guy?” This oughta do it:

In a game that was never close, the Wisconsin linebacker dislocated his finger, got stitches and still returned to the field to play. Sanborn ended the day with 7 tackles with 1.5 for loss, too.

For comparison, if a lot of us stub our big toe on the coffee table, we might sit out of household chores for the rest of the day. Maybe even a week, depending on severity.

Because it was “Iowa week” Sanborn played through (what I would define as) excruciating pain. That’s a “Football Guy.”

What’s the “net” gain?

You know what had more success stopping Braelon Allen than Iowa’s defense? A kicking net.

Actually, that’s not fair. The kicking net also get plowed over when Allen was chugging along at full speed. That poor thing didn’t stand a chance.

The “F” in Ferentz definitely doesn’t stand for “fun”

I don’t like to make a habit of calling people out, but I cannot stand for Kirk Ferentz serving as the fun police again. We allow him to get away with every spring when he refuses to play a game, but this is something we can’t let slide.

Ferentz wasn’t a fan of the Illinois-Penn State 9-overtime game. He doesn’t like the new rules in which 2-point conversion tries are trading. Basically, he hates fun in college football.

Yes, I’m aware Ferentz is an old-school dude who doesn’t care much for the changes to the game. I get it. There are some changes that I hate. But I have to admit, I’m a fan of the new overtime rules, or at least the pure thrill it provided in State College a few weeks ago.

So come on, Kirk. Put a few sprinkles on that vanilla ice cream cone and live a little! Embrace the chaos.

Dazed and Confused

Last week was a rough one for James Franklin. Not just because Penn State lost to Illinois, but because the Fighting Illini were still, very clearly, on the head coach’s mind all week.

Maybe he hadn’t slept since the 9-overtime loss.

Franklin said during his weekly press conference that all of his focus was on “Illinois,” and not the distractions going on with coaching searches at USC and LSU. He said “Illinois” multiple times, as that game last week has been haunting his every waking thought.

Not only did Franklin refer to Ohio State as Illinois, he also mixed up The Horseshoe and The Big House. That’s probably one of the last things you want to do before playing the Buckeyes in Columbus.

To make matters worse, Franklin was trolled by Ohio State defensive line coach Larry Johnson Saturday afternoon before the game. Plus, the Nittany Lions dropped their third straight game this season.

Can Franklin get another bye?

 

Gutter balls

Technically, no B1G team has been eliminated from bowl eligibility yet. Three teams are on the very of it heading into the final month of the season, though.

Nebraska, Illinois and Indiana all currently sit with 6 losses. One more defeat and they’ll be eliminated from the postseason — assuming the bowl executives don’t have to reach out to a 5-7 squad at the end of the year. So much for all those preseason aspirations, right?

The Huskers, Illini and Hoosiers can still break out the bowling shoes, but it will be to spend a night at the actual bowling alley, rather than on the football field.

And if Scott Frost, Bret Bielema and Tom Allen do enjoy a night at the lanes, they may have to ask for bumpers.

What in the hell is this?

First off, let me apologize for the fuzzy photo. Apparently I was so confused that I didn’t have a steady hand while snapping this photo of these projected Top 6 picks during ESPN’s Purdue-Nebraska broadcast.

I mean, what?

Here’s who Roy Philpott and Kelly Stouffer had listed in their 4-team College Football Playoff field midway through the day on Saturday:

Who invited Kentucky to this party? And why does Alabama get a free pass for losing a game to Texas A&M while Michigan State and Oklahoma are still undefeated?

That’s bizarre, right? Yes, it’s bizarre.