25 questions I wish I could ask players and coaches at B1G Media Days

If only public shame didn’t exist, we’d all fire away.

We’d all ask the questions that we knew would get awkward answers to. By “we,” I’m referring to the media.

When hundreds of media members like myself invade Chicago for B1G Media Days, we’ll do so knowing that there are probably certainly lines that we shouldn’t cross during press conferences/interviews.

But what if we wanted those awkward answers? What if we wanted to see players or coaches talk about touchy subjects?

These are the 25 questions I wish I could ask at B1G Media Days:

1. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan — How high was Shea Patterson’s price?

2. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern — Same question as Harbaugh’s but for Hunter Johnson.

3. L.J. Scott, Michigan State — Is Mark Dantonio’s dog house spacious?

4. Mark Dantonio, Michigan State — So…are we just doing to pretend that Outside the Lines piece never happened?

5. Taivon Jacobs, Maryland — How does one actually catch passes without a healthy quarterback?

6. James Franklin, Penn State — How many hours did Micah Parsons run when he wasn’t in that class you showed up to?

7. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa — What happens first: You retire or Iowa adds a headliner non-conference game?

8. Nate Stanley, Iowa — Can you just take it down a notch on the fastball?

9. Tom Allen, Indiana — Thoughts on Romeo Langford?

10. Parris Campbell, Ohio State — What was less impressive: J.T. Barrett’s deep ball or Tate Martell’s max bench?

11. Mike Dudek, Illinois — How in the world do you still have eligibility left?

12. Lovie Smith, Illinois — Any guesses on your replacement?

13. Rodney Smith, Minnesota — What’s more unbearable: P.J. Fleck after six Red Bulls or Minnesota in January?

14. Stanley Morgan Jr., Nebraska — Laying off the reefer this offseason?

15. Chris Ash, Rutgers — Who’s involved in the credit card fraud scandal and what exactly did they buy/steal?

16. David Blough & Elijah Sindelar, Purdue — Y’all know this doesn’t end well, right?

17. Scott Frost, Nebraska — Based on your experience, who was more annoying: Nebraska run-the-ball guy or Scott-Frost-is-never-leaving-Orlando UCF fan?

18. Jeff Brohm, Purdue — Can we be best friends?

19. Chase Winovich, Michigan — Over/under five interceptions per practice against John O’Korn last year?

20. Trace McSorley, Penn State — When Joe Moorhead left, how many sleepless nights did you have?

21. D.J. Durkin, Maryland — Get into any fist fights with Matt Canada yet?

22. Urban Meyer, Ohio State — How much pizza did you eat after 55-24?

23. Clayton Thorson, Northwestern — What was your reaction when you saw yourself listed in early mock drafts?

• A) You couldn’t even
• B) You died laughing
• C) You told everyone it was a typo
• D) All the above

24. P.J. Fleck, Minnesota — What’s elite enough of a season for you to leave for a better job?

25. Paul Chryst, Wisconsin — Thoughts on the Turnover Chain?