I celebrated Dia de los Muertos a few days earlier by going 1-2 ATS, again. The oft-hit record speaks to my consistency, albeit a substandard one. The walls are closing in on my chance for a record above even. The counterculture types who faded me and in turn, faded decency and the can-do American Spirit aren’t taking home much of a profit either. Good luck getting an extra order of biscuits at Red Lobster with that sort of return.

The losing betting slips cover enough ground to wallpaper a middle class dollhouse. I thought about shaking things up, getting a tattoo or shaving an eyebrow, but I don’t believe in needles  and how else can Eugene Levy be revered as a comedic treasure if one his eyebrow compatriots loses forehead cover?

So I’ll keep things as-is. Resume my level of devoted viewership on Saturday and wonder how Michigan State will go against a nation’s hopes and beat Maryland when the viewership at large wants the Terps to win as a final sticking point to their former head coach. Michigan State ruins everything. 

What follows are, well, I don’t know what follows. You have a one in three chance of winning money.

(All lines taken from mybookie.ag)

Author’s note: Lines may have shifted from when I pulled the number for the column. Lighten up gang.

Nebraska vs. Ohio State -19 o/u 73

Read More

There is big news coming to the upcoming 2022-23 Big Ten football season (and NFL season). Ohio online sports betting will be officially launching on January 1, 2023. Ohio will join other Big Ten states where sports betting has become legalized such as Pennsylvania, Michigan, Illinois and more.

The play: Ohio State

Illogical reasoning: Things somehow managed to get stranger in Columbus  an entire week after the loss to Purdue. Head Coach Urban Meyer’s press conference on Monday revolved around the coach’s future with the program after the 2018 season. That’s a hell of a way to unintentionally take the focus off the bitter taste left from the Purdue game.

The unrest in Lincoln quelled for now. I have it on good authority that the farming population no longer wishes to take a torch to any of the grain silos in the state. Nebraska, tied for the third longest winning streak in the B1G at two wins, puts that streak on the line against an Ohio State team in need of a feel good stomping. 

To add little measures and guarantee a stomping, Meyer grounded his coordinators after the Purdue game to work on schemes. The combination of questions about Meyer’s job security, the Columbus anxiousness (original name of the MLS team), and the talent in the program are too much for Nebraska to overcome. The silos are safe, but Ohio State wins in a route.

Penn State vs. Michigan -10.5 o/u 53.5

The play: Penn State

Illogical reasoning: In a battle of “My surface level talking point is better than yours,” I refute the idea that Michigan’s defense will make Penn State pay for the 42 points given up by the Wolverines last year with the utmost confidence in Trace McSorley to keep the Penn State offense on the field.

Yes, the Nittany Lions are plagued with the sort of ineffectiveness (wide receiver drops, instability on the offensive line) but McSorley engenders a sort of confidence that no other quarterback in the conference provides.

And, to belabor a tired point, Michigan’s seven-game winning streak, though impressive, came against a Wisconsin team slip sliding down and out of the Top 25 and a Michigan State team thoroughly exhausted from the arduous Spartan Walk. Michigan wins but faces their toughest competition to keep their win streak alive.

Notre Dame vs. Northwestern +10 o/u 53.5

The play: Notre Dame

Illogical reasoning: Ten points seems like a fat number to attach to the first place team in the B1G West, but Notre Dame clearly understands that each game is technically a playoff game. Without the buffer of a conference title game Notre Dame knows margins for error do not exist.

Mix in a local crowd that will be incredibly supportive of the Fighting Irish to go along with their strong defense and Northwestern will have difficulty moving the ball down the field. It might be ugly, but it’ll be 10 points or more ugly.

Overall record: 11-15-1

Main event status: Relegated to selling superstar ice cream bars and foam fingers before the matches. I can’t even find a spot on the card.