The allure of wagering is more than just creating additional income to spend my post-retirement years at the local Panera, a septuagenarian in a sweat suit in need of half a bran muffin. The wagering, though at times gut-wrenching and ill-conceived, should promote fun and entertainment. Business decisions in the face of good entertainment.

The slate of games in Week 6 offers none of the entertainment value we reaped from the first five weeks of the season. We’re in the midst of Business Week. I’m not sure what Business Week entails but I’m guessing it’s a ton of collated copies and reports beamed from a wobbly projector. Time to make sound decisions to stabilize our financial future. We aren’t in the business of pawing for loose change to fulfill the second half of the Pick Two.

Maryland vs. Michigan -17.5 o/u 48

The play: Maryland

Illogical reasoning: Let’s just go with the notion that Maryland is a lot better than their sewage treatment performance against Temple, but not quite the impressive program from their win over Texas at the beginning of the year. The Terps like to live off the run and get outside on a bunch of sideline-to-sideline action. Look for them to break off a few big plays against Michigan and keep it within the number and the hook.

Jim Harbaugh and his Commission of Offensive Decision Makers will rely on a running game and keep the offense under wraps for another week. At least Michigan fans should hope its under wraps and not under a white sheet awaiting autopsy. Otherwise, the running game will perpetually pick up chunks of yards at a clip of 3.4 yards. That and five downs to gain ten yards would make them the envy of all the rollicking youngsters loitering in front of a five and dime. Maryland keeps it close while Michigan looks ahead.

Nebraska vs. Wisconsin -18 o/u 57.5

The play: Wisconsin

Illogical reasoning: Anything under a 24 point loss would be considered a big victory for Nebraska. And while the charge to hold head coach Scott Frost accountable for operating with a paltry roster will grow in numbers, little victories will come from larger margins of defeat.

Wisconsin, tagged with the ugliness of a home loss to BYU, will attempt to exert its dominance against opponents in the B1G West to drum up enough interest to convince three people a win against Ohio State in the B1G Championship and a bunch of others against substandard conference competition make up the sort of portfolio of a playoff team. A fair point if the field expands to 16 teams. Kidding, 12 teams. Okay, maybe eight. Wisconsin needs some throat-stepping wins on their schedule. Teams with one loss are not eligible for a Look Ahead game according to the bylaws of college football. Wisconsin covers with ease.

Illinois vs. Rutgers +5 o/u 50.5

The play: Illinois

Illogical reasoning: Place this bet and then check in on the game every half hour. Dear God, don’t maintain steady viewership. Illinois, through their two wins and two losses, scored at least 19 points. The offense can put up numbers and hung with Penn State for a half at home, if you call their deserted student section a home field. They appear to be the best version of what head coach Lovie Smith put on display in his three well-paid year. 

Rutgers is not the sort of any-strike offense, but if pressed into a call, they would definitely not be called quick-strike. Illinois, heeding the warning from Indiana last week, will take care of business on defense and give Lovie Smith his second road win in the B1G. Never mind his only other one came against Rutgers (Spot the trends!). Expect the Illini to cover. But please, avoid extended glances at the television for this game. Enjoy from scoring updates alone.  

Last week’s record: 2-1

Overall record: 7-8

Main event status: With the Survivor Series right around the corner it’s time to jockey for a spot on Rugged Ronnie Garvin’s team with the Young Stallions. A 2-1 weekend makes the transition to the A towns and prime time matches a much more likely scenario. My Overtaker character goes on the shelf this week as its me versus the heartless ATS in a two out of three falls match.