It’s hard to believe, but B1G Media Days are only a week away.

That means that football is finally right around the corner. Even for the cellar dwellers, B1G Media Days are a chance to flex optimistic muscles and talk about the strides that’ll be made in the upcoming season.

We’ll get a chance to talk to the three player representatives from each team, every B1G coach and B1G Commissioner Jim Delany. Some questions will be good, and some won’t be.

Unfortunately, there are some questions that all of us have, but can’t ask. Why? Well, there are a few reasons. One is the obvious possibility of having a credential yanked by a public relations director (that’s part of their job). The other is not wanting to put a 21-year-old kid in a completely awkward spot for no reason.

But if there was a such thing as #NoFilter at B1G Media Days, here are the questions that would be asked:

1. Lovie Smith, Illinois: Is Rex Grossman still your quarterback?

2. Ke’Shawn Vaughn, Illinois: You’re not an upperclassman. You’re not a quarterback. You technically aren’t a returning starter, either. How did you wind up here?

3. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa: How loaded is your next 10-year extension going to be?

4. C.J. Beathard, Iowa: Are you sick of Iowa fans asking you about your groin?

5. Desmond King, Iowa: Fake Twitter accounts…for or against them?

6. Kevin Wilson, Indiana: Can you speak in actual sentences please?

7. Dan Feeney, Indiana: How many times a day do people yell FEEEEEEENAAAYYYY!!! at you?

8. D.J. Durkin, Maryland: Why did Scott Shafer really leave?

9. Jermaine Carter Jr., Maryland: Are you looking forward to having to make every tackle this year?

10. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan: Who’s next on your SEC hit list?

11. Jake Butt, Michigan: Remember that time you trolled Michigan State and then said your phone was hacked? Which Michigan coach yelled at you and said that would be your best/only cover-up?

12. Mark Dantonio, Michigan State: What publications have already disrespected you guys this year, Mike?

13. Riley Bullough, Michigan State: What do you have against East Lansing barbers?

14. Tracy Claeys, Minnesota: The final 19 seconds against Michigan…did you just black out?

15. Mitch Leidner, Minnesota: Are you related to Todd McShay?

16. Mike Riley, Nebraska: Have you thought about life in Lincoln if you win six games this year?

17. Jordan Westerkamp, Nebraska: Have you ever been compared to an NFL receiver that wasn’t of the Wes Welker/Julian Edelman/Wayne Chrebet/Brandon Stokley variety?


18. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern: The forward pass…have you heard of it? If so, thoughts?

19. Anthony Walker, Northwestern: Your practices are pretty one-sided, aren’t they?

20. Urban Meyer, Ohio State: What’s the first word that comes to mind when I say, “Jim Harbaugh?”

21. J.T. Barrett, Ohio State: I’m the Senior Editor of Saturday Tradition…There’s nothing you can do?

22. James Franklin, Penn State: Can you promise to still be positive if you lose to Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State and Pitt?

23. Brian Gaia, Penn State: Blocking this year…will we see it?

24. Darrell Hazell, Purdue: Are you enjoying your last B1G Media Days?

25. Jake Replogle, Purdue: Do you make the podium in the Replogle Brother Power Rankings?

26. Chris Ash, Rutgers: How low of a bar did Kyle Flood set for you?

27. Darius Hamilton, Rutgers: I know you were inactive, but on a scale of 1-complete dumpster fire, how brutal was last year?

28. Paul Chryst, Wisconsin: When you look at your 2016 schedule, do you…

  • A. Sweat profusely
  • B. Cry/pray
  • C. Tell yourself a cliché about taking it one game at a time
  • D. All of the above

29. Vince Biegel, Wisconsin: When you watch Leonard Fournette on film, do you…

  • A. Sweat profusely
  • B. Cry/pray
  • C. Tell yourself a cliché about taking it one play at a time
  • D. All of the above

30. Jim Delany, B1G Commissioner: Can you negotiate my next contract for me?