B1G (Mis)takes: Gambling lines for Week 10

I blame myself. I say that with sincerity. Humility generates sympathy from the masses. No one else is at fault. I got too cute and disavowed two of the principles I hold near and dear to my heart after the first nine weeks of the college football season. 

I bet against Ohio State and involved myself in a Michigan game. 

Foolishness on all accounts. I messed up. 

Okay, well I’ve groveled long enough, and with that groundswell of sympathy from the previous 81 words I am emboldened enough to make the same sort of mistakes over and over again, but now with a vow to get better, and work harder with a tell-all interview to a weekend correspondent on a network morning show to follow. 

But seriously, I won’t bet against Ohio State the rest of the season. Ain’t no proselytizer in me. Give your money to whatever sort of operation you see fit, legal or illegal. I bear no conscious on your decision. That includes the state of Illinois by 2025 after the assemblymen understand how to lower the projection screen in the conference rooms where they commiserate and wade in hush-hush deals. 

Stickler’s note: all lines taken from mybookie.ag. Lines may have shifted since the column’s inception. Real cool you established a trade market of two Snickers bars for one Good & Plenty at that bazaar you call a sub basement with your five-year-old. 

Northwestern vs. Indiana -11.5 o/u 43.5

The play: Under

The logic:The dire ineptitude of the Northwestern offense grows more and more dire, or inept each week. The Wildcats averaged seven points total over the last four games, each of them losses. It’s safe to argue things are just a touch too far gone on offense and failure on that side of the ball will waste another sound performance by the defense. 

Northwestern would look to keep Army and Navy out of a shootout, so there’s going to be a very plodding and draining approach to the game. Equal parts misery for the viewer and the participant. 

Indiana comes off of the sort of win against Nebraska that might accompany a hangover, obviously not one to open up the Northwestern offense. Just expect a few drives to stall in the first half for the Under. 

Rutgers vs. Illinois -21 o/u 51

The play: Illinois

The logic: Who would have thought that Illinois would do so much to differentiate itself from Rutgers? One of the conference’s incompetents grew up in a matter of two weeks. The other plays its home games in New Jersey. 

Illinois is within striking distance of bowl eligibility and will ride the rushing attack that slowly and steadily became the calling card of the offense. The Scarlet Knights, among the programs’ other shortcomings, struggle to stop the run and give up five yards a carry. Illinois wants to do what it can to separate their program from the same conversation as Rutgers. With no guarantees left on the schedule, let’s consider Northwestern Illinois a close matchup for now, I expect the Fighting Illini to chase its second blowout win of the season. Lovie Smith still needs to remind university administrators his program is not Rutgers. 

Michigan vs. Maryland o/u 55.5

The play: Over

The Logic: The chestiness from the Michigan win over Notre Dame leads nicely into the Tall Tales Bowl between Josh Gattis and Mike Locksley. Both the Michigan offensive coordinator and Maryland Head Coach traded boasts earlier this year as to who deserves credit for Alabama’s offensive success last season when they worked under Nick Saban as the wide receivers coach and offensive coordinator respectively. Are both going to try out-wrinkle the other? 

Probably not. Expect more fanciness and plays of intrigue from Locksley who brings a lifeless Maryland squad into the game. Michigan’s defense looked the part of its reputation against Notre Dame last week, but go ahead and expect a little regression. It’s alright, I promise. While you’re at it, unplug the doorbell “on accident.”. Especially for when it gets dark tonight. You don’t have to answer to anyone. 

Back to lukewarm football. If Maryland thinks there’s even an outside chance they hang with Michigan it comes on the strength of the offense. Locksley needs to take chances and show Gattis how inventive his offensive mind.. 

Michigan can run off tackle and counter plays and score 35 on Maryland. Look for the Wolverines to lean into the offensive stylings that yielded them 45 points last week. 

Last week’s record: 0-3

Overall record: 14-12-1

Status on the card: I failed the promotion’s wellness test last week when I tested positive for obliviousness. Off the roster for an indeterminate amount of time, I spent time in the office answering Howard Finkel’s fan mail.