There’s a strange torture to Iowa fandom that the rest of us can never fully appreciate.

Iowa fans have it better than most. Since Hayden Fry arrived in Iowa City in 1979, Iowa has experienced 9 losing seasons. Two of them were in Fry’s first 2 seasons and another in his final season. Kirk Ferentz took over a program that lost its fastball and experienced 2 straight losing seasons during the rebuild phase.

But other than those transitional seasons, success has been the norm for the Hawkeyes. Which is not the way it used to be.

From 1962-1980, Iowa never had a winning record. Not even once. A freshman enrolling at Iowa in 1980 would not have seen a winning Hawkeyes season in their entire lifetime.

The soil may be rich in Iowa, but the talent pipeline is a tad drier.

Iowa is 31st in population, making it the second-smallest state in the Big Ten. Only Nebraska has fewer residents, but the Cornhuskers don’t have to share their state with another Power 5 program like the Hawkeyes do. (Nebraska also compared more favorably to its peer states in the Big 8 when it was a dominant national program.)

Winning at Iowa is not a guaranteed proposition. So when you do, you stick with what works. And that means 2 head coaches in 43 years.

It’s unique within college football. No other program can dream of Iowa’s stability. It’s a stability that guarantees Iowa fans will never experience the peaks and valleys of an Illinois fan, or the valleys and valleys of an Indiana fan. Or the stuck at sea level nature of Minnesota fandom.

Most Big Ten fans would gladly trade places with Iowa. Until the offense breaks the huddle. That’s when the torture kicks in.

Iowa may have the only fanbase in the football universe that roots for its offense to move the ball far enough to set up its punter for a coffin-corner boot rather than moving the ball to actually score. Maybe the returner will muff the punt. Or the defense will get a pick-6. Or a safety.

Did someone say… 2 safeties?

A week into the season, Iowa’s points breakdown is as follows:

  • Defense: 4 points
  • Special Teams: 3 points
  • Offense: 0 points

Yet somehow the Hawks are a sterling 1-0 following their 7-3 win over FCS South Dakota State.

In case you were looking for a drive chart for that performance…

Iowa quarterback Spencer Petras was 11-for-25 for 109 yards and an interception against what will be far from the best defense he faces this season. He was sacked 4 times by the Jackrabbits. One shudders to think how many times Wisconsin or Minnesota will get to him. Oh. And Michigan is on the schedule this year.

Iowa running backs averaged just 2.2 yards per carry. South Dakota State is No. 2 in the FCS, but the Jackrabbits are mostly known for their offensive prowess. Which speaks volumes about how good the Hawkeyes are on defense, and how shoddy they are on offense.

Unfortunately, there’s no replacing the overseer of this offense. He’s Brian Ferentz, the very successful head coach’s son. Even though the Hawkeyes were 10th in the B1G in scoring and 11th in yards per play last season, Ferentz the Younger had quarterbacks coach added to his job description this year.

This is what makes Iowa fandom so maddening.

Nobody wants to see Kirk go, because goodness knows what could happen to the program without him. And nobody wants to see Brian in a position of power, because then you get what we saw on Saturday. As we say, a strange torture.

And this season, it’s about to get especially strange and torturous.

Due to camp injuries, the Hawkeyes were without starting receivers Nico Ragaini and Keagan Johnson in the opener. It’s pretty clear they’ll be needed. But Iowa was set up to have the depth to deal with those injuries in the form of Charlie Jones and Tyrone Tracy.

Tracy, an Indianapolis native who saw his role dwindle since his freshman season, transferred to Purdue last winter. Jones, the reigning Big Ten returner of the year, went through spring practice at Iowa and was expected to be one of the team’s senior leaders.

This summer, he also resurfaced in West Lafayette in a shocking transfer.

But it really isn’t that shocking. Purdue quarterback Aidan O’Connell is Jones’ pee-wee football teammate. And Purdue’s offense was crafted for the 21st century wide receiver. Iowa’s is crafted for guys who played the position when it was called “flanker.”

In his first game as a Boilermaker, Jones showed what he can do when the slot receiver is an offense’s first option instead of the third or fourth. Facing the Big Ten’s best secondary, Jones went off. He had 12 catches for 153 yards and a touchdown.

Jones had 21 receptions for 323 yards as a Hawkeye all of last season. He might come close to that in a single game when the Boilers host Iowa on Nov. 5.

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It’s poised to be an Iowa fan’s ultimate viewing nightmare. Because Jones could be doing those things for the Hawkeyes — if only he had a quarterback capable of getting him the ball, and a coordinator with imagination.

Around the B1G horn

Penn State 35, Purdue 31

Make no mistake, the Boilers blew this one.

When O’Connell connected with Jones for a 17-yard pickup on third-and-9 with 3:36 to go, Purdue’s win probability (per ESPN) was 87.1%. That bumped up to 89.4% when King Dorue picked up 4 yards on first down to move the ball to the Purdue 45.

But a near-fantastic diving downfield catch by Payne Durham was overturned on replay review, stopping the clock at 2:50 and setting Purdue up for a must-pass 3rd-and-6.

People are pillorying Jeff Brohm for not running on second down, but the downfield play was there. It just missed by a matter of inches. With that first down, the Boilers could have ground out most of the clock.

And if not for a masterful final drive from Penn State quarterback Sean Clifford, nobody would be thinking about Brohm’s clock management. After throwing a ghastly pick-6 earlier in the fourth quarter, Clifford had 1 incompletion on Penn State’s 82-yard drive to win the game in just 1:25.

Though Purdue did hand the game away, Clifford deserves credit for actually grabbing it.

Minnesota 38, New Mexico State 0

PJ Fleck didn’t fight Jerry Kill after the game, which is really all I was paying attention to. Fleck didn’t even try running up the score!

But it looks like the Golden Gophers might again have an elite defense. Minnesota limited the Aggies to 91 yards of total offense.

In other good news, Mohamed Ibrahim is definitely back. The senior had 132 yards and a pair of touchdowns in his first game since tearing an Achilles tendon in last year’s season opener.

Indiana 23, Illinois 20

Just like we all suspected, the Big Ten receiving leader after Week 1 is Indiana’s Cam Camper. No, not Cam Cameron. Cam Camper. No football program has ever had so many CamCams.

Camper was Friday night’s revelation with 156 yards on 11 receptions in his Hoosiers debut.

The other revelation? With the exception of Indiana’s game-winning 75-yard drive, it feels like Illinois might have the pieces for a very salty defense. A week after limiting Wyoming to 30 passing yards, the Illini held the Hoosiers to 32 rushing yards on 26 carries.

If Bret Bielema can get both cooking at the same time, the Fighting Illini could create some issues for contenders in the West.

No. 15 Michigan State 35, Western Michigan 13

A typical Week 1 performance — lots of good mixed with quite a bit of sloppiness. And fortunately the talent gap was wide enough that the Broncos didn’t capitalize on the sloppiness.

One guy who wasn’t the least bit sloppy? Transfer edge rusher Jacoby Windmon. He was the national defensive player of the week with 4 sacks.

No. 2 Ohio State 21, No. 5 Notre Dame 10

It’s the fewest points the Buckeyes have scored in a win under Ryan Day. But that’s OK, because there’s also this:

Maybe the Irish won’t be in the top 5 at the end of the year. But based on how it shut down Ohio State’s offense, I wouldn’t bet against Notre Dame being a legit top-10 team this season. And yes, maybe even a Playoff team.

Regardless of what Notre Dame is or is not, Ohio State’s defense couldn’t even keep Tulsa under 20 points a year ago. This was a big-time performance.

No. 8 Michigan 51, Colorado State 7

A year ago, Aidan Hutchinson and David Ojabo combined for 25 of Michigan’s 34 sacks.

The remaining Wolverines who combined for 9 sacks a year ago finished with 7 against the Rams. Best of all, perhaps, is that was a true team effort. Nine Wolverines had a sack or half-sack.

As much attention as was placed on Cade McNamara’s turn in the quarterback derby, the defense’s ability to replace Hutchinson and Ojabo will be more crucial to Michigan’s season. The early returns were promising.

No. 18 Wisconsin 38, Illinois State 0

Enough said. For now. More on this later.

Nebraska 38, North Dakota 17

With disaster staring him in the face, Scott Frost found salvation in the form of running back Anthony Grant.

Grant’s 46-yard touchdown run late in the third quarter broke a 17-17 tie as the Huskers pulled away late. The junior college transfer finished with 189 yards on 23 carries.

Garrett Nelson also made his presence known after getting shut down by Northwestern left tackle Peter Skoronski in Ireland. Nelson’s third-quarter strip-sack was Nebraska’s first of the season, and a pivotal moment in getting a concerned crowd back into the game.

Nelson finished with a game-high 8 tackles.

Rutgers 22, Boston College 21

Rutgers won a game in which it committed 10 penalties for 73 yards, faced a fourth-and-goal from the 43-yard line, and had 2 backup quarterbacks combine for 110 passing yards because starter Noah Vedral was out.

You can thank the defense.

The Scarlet Knights had 3 takeaways and limited BC to 29 rushing yards on 28 carries. In the process, they snapped an 11-game losing streak in the series with their former Big East rivals.

Maryland 31, Buffalo 10

A surprisingly disjointed performance for Maryland’s offense. Taulia Tagovailoa didn’t throw for a touchdown, and the Terps were just 4-of-13 on third down.

Luckily there was running back Roman Hemby, who turned 2 of his 7 carries into long touchdowns. Hemby scored from 33 and 70 yards out.

More encouraging: In the 3 games since defensive coordinator Brian Williams took over last year, the Terps are giving up just 12 points per game.

Week 1 MVPs

1. RB Anthony Grant (Nebraska)

Context matters a lot here.

Nebraska’s been looking for a home run hitter since Ameer Abdullah graduated in 2014, and through 2 games Grant has given every indication that he’s precisely that guy.

His 46-yard touchdown run also came right after the Huskers squandered their 17-7 lead in the third quarter following a really bad Casey Thompson interception in North Dakota’s red zone. The Fighting Hawks had Nebraska on the ropes until Grant rode to the rescue.

2. DE Jacoby Windmon (Michigan State)

Back when Chicago Cub Tuffy Rhodes hit a record 3 home runs on opening day, Harry Caray reminded the viewing audience on WGN that Rhodes was on pace for 486 home runs in 1994. (Rhodes finished with 8.)

This means I’m obligated to let you know Windmon is on pace for 48 sacks this season, shattering Terrell Suggs’ single-season NCAA record of 24.

Windmon will definitely top Rhodes’ home run total. But there’s a reason Suggs’ record has stood for 20 years now.

3. CB Joey Porter Jr. (Penn State)

Without Porter on the field, Purdue scores 40 or more points and leaves the Nittany Lions in the dust. He was the biggest thorn in Aidan O’Connell’s side all night.

If he did allow a completion, Porter was there for the stop. He had 8 tackles and a fumble recovery. He also narrowly missed out on a pick-6 in the first quarter, though the deflection ended up turning into a long gain for the Boilermakers.

4. WR Charlie Jones (Purdue)

If Porter wasn’t on the field, one wonders how far beyond 12 receptions and 153 yards Jones may have gone. Expect to see even bigger numbers in coming weeks.

5. P Tory Taylor (Iowa)

If this was hockey, Taylor would get credit for the assist. He’s the guy who set up Iowa’s defense to score those safeties.

Taylor pinned 5 punts inside the South Dakota State 10-yard line, including 3 inside the 5. Had any of those punts been touchbacks, it’s entirely possible this game would have gone to overtime deadlocked at 3. Or maybe the Jackrabbits would have pulled the upset had they actually started a few drives with some breathing room.

No individual player was more vital to Iowa’s success on Saturday. And that’s no joke.

Honorable mentions

Penn State quarterback Sean Clifford and Indiana quarterback Connor Bazelak, for their meritorious service in leading last-minute comebacks despite uneven performances. … Illinois running back Chase Brown for a 199-yard game. Only a fumble prevented him from cracking the MVP list. … Indiana receiver Cam Camper for his Big Ten-leading 156 receiving yards. … Ohio State linebacker Tommy Eichenberg (9 tackles, 3 TFL, 2 sacks) and defensive lineman Mike Hall Jr. (4 tackles, 2 TFL, 1 sack) for setting the tone against Notre Dame. …  Michigan corner DJ Turner for a 45-yard fumble recovery return TD. … Rutgers corner Robert Longerbeam for a sack, forced fumble and an interception — quite the DB trifecta. … Wisconsin safety John Torchio for a 100-yard INT return, and running back Braelon Allen for getting 148 yards on just 14 carries.

Plays of the week

Wisconsin has an assembly line of star running backs that stretches back decades. And now the Badgers have a new record-holder for longest run in program history: Braelon Allen.

Allen scored from 96 yards out, breaking the record of 93 previously set by James White against Indiana in 2013.

But somehow Allen didn’t even have the longest Wisconsin touchdown in this game.

That distinction belongs to safety John Torchio, who also set a school record with his 100-yard interception return for a score. Joe Ferguson set the previous mark of 99 yards against Utah State in 2017.

Blooper of the week

Tim Brando’s attempt to “Jump Around” with broadcast partner Spencer Tillman, uh … turned out to be rather amusing. Luckily the game kicked late enough that the kids weren’t watching by the fourth quarter.