CHICAGO — So instead of coming up with one sweeping generalization about the conference after the first round of B1G Media Days, I elected to do something different.

By now, you know the headlines of the day. As for the other in-depth stories, stay tuned for those in the coming days/weeks (shameless plug, right?).

With that in mind, I thought it’d be more fitting to hand out some superlatives for the day that was in Chicago.

Here they are:

WORST QUOTE — Paul Chryst, Wisconsin

OK, making fun of Chryst seems mean. After all, the dude is a helluva coach. There’s no denying that. But as a quote, he’s drier than a Phoenix afternoon in August. His opening statement was roughly 20 seconds. He actually didn’t even fill the whole 15 minutes he was allotted. There was time for two more questions, but nobody had any for Chryst.

Why? Well, they probably didn’t want gems like this:

“I think that all your experiences you want to learn from, and we try to spend time with the players talking about what can we learn from, be it the close losses you referenced, the close wins, anything that you go through.

“And I think that I like this team and this group. And we’ve got a lot of guys that have played in a number of big games and won a lot of them and have lost some of them.”

I’ll take him to coach my football team any day, but Chryst will not be someone who ever stops the presses at the podium.

LEAST EXCITED TO BE AT B1G MEDIA DAYS — Mark Dantonio, Michigan State

I have a feeling that when Dantonio saw B1G Media Days on his calendar, he groaned every time he realized it was a day closer. If that happened, I can’t say that I blame him. For the first time, Dantonio had to face a massive audience and address the year that was in East Lansing. There were no laughs and good vibes from Dantonio, at least in the time that I saw him.

To his credit, though, the Spartans coach handled all of the questions well. Dantonio didn’t downplay the severity of the sexual assault crimes his players were charged with, nor did he shy from the fact that his team was 3-9. Having said that, it didn’t look like it was a very fun day to be Dantonio.

BEST DRESSED — Malik Turner, Illinois WR

There were some candidates for this award. Maryland Ty Johnson had a fresh look with the gray suit and bow tie, as did Chris Worley with the tan suit.

But for my money, the honor of “Best Dressed” went to Malik Turner. Black and blue is a tough combo to pull off, but I think he did. Bold, but stylish.

When I gave him that title, he admitted that people have been telling him that but “I haven’t been saying that at all.” Sure, Malik.

MOST LIKELY TO GET ME TO RUN THROUGH A WALL IN JULY — Tom Allen, Indiana

You better believe that was in all caps. There’s something about the first-year Indiana coach that just gets you jacked up.

Maybe it’s the fact that he started his first B1G Media Day session by sharing the motivational speech he gave his team after he took over. Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t dodge any questions and he actually looks you in the eye when he’s speaking to you. Maybe it’s the fact that he just oozes enthusiasm.

Whatever it was, that dude knows how to motivate people. The jury is still out on whether or not he can become a quality head coach in this conference, but his team is going to play fast and it isn’t going to take plays off. Just listening to his 50-26-10 speech — 50 years since IU won the Rose Bowl, 26 since it won a bowl game and 10 since it had a winning season — made me want to hit someone.

Is it football yet?

MOST ENTERTAINING — Billy Price, Ohio State C

Call me crazy, but something tells me the Buckeye offensive lineman will have a future in media. That is, after his playing days are over.

Price was the only player I saw who directed traffic in the sea of reporters that were in front of him. That is, he’d say which reporter was next to ask him a question if he/she had been waiting. There was another point that he took the microphone and held it in his hand like he was hosting a radio show. He basically was.

My favorite Price moment from Monday was when he started talking about Urban Meyer, the new grandpa.

“What do babies do to men? I mean, come on. I tell (Meyer) that all the time,” Price said. “(Meyer’s daughter) posts all the pictures with (Meyer’s grandson). When Coach Meyer is holding that child, it was like he was holding a national championship trophy. It’s the cutest thing in the world.

“I mess with him all the time. I say, ‘The last time you smiled that big was when we (won a national title).'”

Needless to say, I looked down at my recorder and realized I spent 20 minutes listening to Price. It’s easy to get distracted listening to that dude.

BEST HAIR FOR SOMEONE THAT WEARS A FOOTBALL HELMET ALL THE TIME — Ty Johnson, Maryland RB

There are certain looks that can be pulled off by the majority of people. The hipster haircut of short on the sides, long on top and a beard is pretty popular right now. Johnson had all of those things (a little chinstrap instead of a full beard), but there was nothing hipster about his look.

This is some swag:

Maybe I’m just used to watching Johnson score touchdowns with his helmet on, but man, I did not expect his hair to look that fresh.

Johnson might’ve barely missed out on “best dressed,” but in my opinion, his hair was a notch above the competition.

MOST LIKELY TO GET YOU TO DRINK IN A B1G MEDIA DAYS DRINKING GAME — Kirk Ferentz, Iowa

I mean, after 19 years, Ferentz knows what people expect him to say. If you were playing the B1G Media Days drinking game, you waited a whole 37 seconds for Ferentz to reference his kicking/punting game.

He mentioned both his kicker and his punter battles IMMEDIATELY after he talked about the quarterback position.

“I think if you just look at our team in a nutshell our inexperience is really on the perimeter both offensively and defensively, including the quarterback position,” Ferentz said. “And then I think I’d be remiss if I didn’t include our specialist, our kicking competition is still in effect. We’re not sure who our punter is right now, much like the quarterback.”

Yes, that was right around the same time this little tweet hit the internet:

Never change, Kirk.