In a perfect world, we’d all fire off any question we want at B1G Media Days next week.

But in this world, we, the media, have certain standards of professionalism that we try to uphold (for some reason). What would a world look like in which the media didn’t care about the consequences or potential awkwardness of firing off a question?

Probably something like this:

EAST DIVISION

INDIANA
Rashard Fant, Sr., CB — Who catches more passes in practice; you or Simmie Cobbs?
Richard Lagow, Sr., QB — What do you think about…oh, you just threw another pick. Thoughts?
Tegray Scales, Sr., LB — On a scale of one to Kevin Wilson, how intense is Tom Allen behind closed doors?

MARYLAND
Jermaine Carter Jr., Sr., LB — How do you feel about still being lumped with Rutgers?
Ty Johnson, Jr., RB — You hit 1,000 yards and but barely got 100 carries. Why does DJ Durkin hate you?
D.J. Moore, Jr., WR — How pumped are you NOT to catch passes from Perry Hills?

MICHIGAN
Mason Cole, Sr., OL — You’ve been at Michigan for 15 years now so you can answer this question better than anyone. Is Michigan back?
Maurice Hurst, Sr., DT — Are your ankles healthy again after Akrum Wadley broke them?
Mike McCray, Sr., LB — How short was Barrett?

MICHIGAN STATE
Brian Allen, Sr., OL — Curtis Blackwell…miss him?
Chris Frey, Sr., LB — How does it feel to be the only MSU defender that didn’t transfer/get kicked off the team/leave for the NFL?
Gerald Holmes, Sr., RB — What’s worse: Winning three games or knowing that without Rutgers, y’all would’ve dropped a goose egg in B1G play?

OHIO STATE
Tyquan Lewis, Sr., DE — Did Clemson just score again?
Billy Price, Sr., C — How much Papa Johns did Urban eat after the Fiesta Bowl?
Chris Worley, Sr., LB — In one word, how would you describe Nick Bosa’s pro-Trump tweets?

PENN STATE
Marcus Allen, Sr., S — Bob Shoop is the worst, right?
Jason Cabinda, Sr., LB — I know you think college athletes should get paid. How much money should your defense have gotten after letting up 52 points in the Rose Bowl?
Mike Gesicki, Sr., TE — Can you get Saquon on the phone so I can talk to him?

RUTGERS
Blessuan Austin, Jr., CB — Who are you again?
Sebastian Joseph, Sr., DL — Same question.
Dorian Miller, Sr., OL — Let’s just make it a group question.

WEST DIVISION

ILLINOIS
Christian DiLauro, Sr., OL — The Purdue loss…how?
Jaylen Dunlap, Sr., DB — Last year at media days, Illinois players said Lovie Smith hadn’t yelled yet. Has he yelled yet? Or did he not realize that y’all won three games?
Malik Turner, Sr., WR — How many fingers of yours did Wes Lunt break?

IOWA
Josey Jewell, Sr., MLB — Does having a girly name make you feel like you have to overcompensate?
Matt VandeBerg, Sr., WR — How does it feel to be the only wide receiver on the entire roster?
Sean Welsh, Sr., OL — How does not having Greg Davis as your offensive coordinator anymore make you feel?

  • A) Excited
  • B) Stoked
  • C) Pumped
  • D) All the above

MINNESOTA
Jonathan Celestin, Sr., LB — Do you guys remember what Paul Bunyan’s Axe looks like?
Steven Richardson, Sr., DT — When is it no longer too soon to make a Tracy Claeys joke?
Rodney Smith, Jr., RB — Everyone knows P.J. Fleck is all about rowing the boat. How badly do you want to drop the anchor on that catchphrase?

NEBRASKA
Aaron Williams, Jr. S — What’s the big secret to Bob Diaco’s defense? Tackling?
Tanner Lee, Jr., QB — Are the takes about your future too hot to handle?
Chris Weber, Sr., LB — Where did you guys bury the Iowa film? 

NORTHWESTERN
Godwin Igwebuike, Sr., S — How pumped are you guys to finally have actual B1G facilities?
Justin Jackson, Sr., RB — How has the B1G changed since you played your first college game 30 years ago?
Clayton Thorson, Jr., QB — How many touchdowns passes would you throw in a season if you played against Illinois State every game?

PURDUE
Ja’Whaun Bentley, Sr., LB — A run defense…will we see one this year?
David Blough, Jr., QB — Was there anything worse than being the face of Darrell Hazell’s offense?
Danny Ezechukwu, Sr., LB — Last year, DeAngelo Yancey guaranteed a bowl berth for Purdue. Do you have any dumb predictions you want to offer up?

WISCONSIN
T.J. Edwards, Jr., LB — Who’s your favorite B1G West opponent to destroy?
Troy Fumagalli, Sr., TE — Bart Houston or Joel Stave…who were you more excited to see graduate?

Jack Cichy, Sr., LB — Who’s more likely to get carded at a bar: You or Jim Leonhard?