With my apologies to all the Bud Kilmer’s and Buddy Garrity’s in the room, I forgo high school football for the college game. There’s a niceness to a Friday night with the latter especially when there’s no social obligation to be around a group of people. 

We’re harried and hurried from the week, depleted by the eighth iteration of “NCIS.” Crowds, never a strong interest when refreshed and restored, are the bane of people with average hearing. 

You want to watch games without societal awkwardness that is catching the eye of the person seated across from you at the pub table, or worse, the crowd enlarges to a number so large, so unmanageable, not a single empty bar stool exists and tighter confines forces you to sit next to a stranger who tries to win you over with their Dusty Rhodes impression. 

It’s easier to group text. You can ghost conversations, leave the phone in the kitchen whenever you see fit, take a deep breath and readjust before you go off on someone for their overuse of the thumbs and the heart as a way to respond to conversation and leave out people who communicate through use of GIFS. Also, it’s liberating and empowering to leave a conversation as a silent protest to those who think more than one exclamation mark in succession is the proper way to convey enthusiasm. 

And yeah, who wouldn’t be excited about Friday night in the Big Ten, but temper it a bit. We’re all geeked for Ralph Friedgen to be back at Maryland, we shouldn’t be that excited. 

Game #3: Minnesota vs. Purdue, 2:30 PM CST, ESPN 2

The combination of opponents and start times made Minnesota a rather inconvenient watch to start the season. Outside of spending time with Mike Leach there’s no reason to stay up too late to hear announcers dance around Urban Meyer rumors. Minnesota’s three wins by a total of 13 points leave a little to be desired.

Even with an injury depleted roster I have faith in Jeff Brohm to dig into his acclaimed bag of tricks to give Purdue that slight edge on offense. Minnesota’s confidence grows with each game and they’ll be looking to start the season 4-0 for the first time since 2013. Expect an extra charge of passive-aggressive disdain between the two teams after Minnesota thumped Purdue 41-10 last season. 

Game #2: Ohio State vs. Nebraska, 6:30 PM CST, ABC

In Ohio State’s first conference test of the year, let’s call the game against Indiana going three-quarters speed with stats kept, the Buckeyes travel to Lincoln for a game that at the start of the 2018 season many Huskers fans believed would be Nebraska’s first heavy and health step back in the spotlight of national prominence. 

Though a little bit behind schedule from those aspirations, we still have Justin Fields and Adrian Martinez trading drives. We’re buying in for atmosphere in this one to show the world that Nebraska is more than just a lonely and stripped down Bruce Springsteen album. I  don’t see the game being close in the second half (please consult yesterday’s lesson), but the environment in Memorial Stadium will be a nice showcase to what the program could be if it ever reaches solid footing again. 

Game #1: Penn State vs. Maryland, 7 PM CST FS1

Would have been nice for both teams to come in undefeated for the first Friday night game in the Big Ten, but we’ll settle for one loss between the two. I know Mike Locksley can coach and game plan against inferior defenses and I know that James Franklin lives to agitate other teams through certain motives one could construe as running up the score. 

Does Penn State have an offense? Will Maryland reprise the role of the self-sabotage do-it-all it played in the Temple game? How long until the announce team of Tim Brando and Spencer Tillman forces the narrative of Locksley’s natural fit at Maryland and the culture change he’s overseeing with a strong will (over-mentioned) and a bloated recruiting budget (under-mentioned) under the lights?

This and more in Week Five! Cant’ wait to not meet up.