I don’t imagine myself in physical confrontations outside of the end of the weekly “B1G Action” pieces that run on Friday. The comical world of the 1980’s WWF seems less daunting than most tech startups. But, Michigan football needs to be jolted into some creativity. Something slight, and subtle. No full-throated rage and steps announcing next-level fury.

A heavy pat on the shoulder, accentuated by, “Come on, you’re Michigan. The University of Michigan. Not State. No directional tags attached. Liven up. Nice Jordan gear.”

Michigan has one loss, a loss that came from a tough first game against Notre Dame on the road. Night time, bright lights, the ill-conceived notion head coach Jim Harbaugh and his Commission of Offensive Decision Makers could bully the Fighting Irish upfront and replicate a style of football from an era of wood panelled basements and station wagons of the same design.

The Wolverines recovered from the first week, benefitting from an easy non-conference schedule and a gentle slide into conference play with games against Nebraska and last weekend versus a pesky Northwestern team to stand 4-1. Hell, let’s throw one more on against Maryland and operate from the hypothetical that 5-1 Michigan hosts 4-1 Wisconsin on October 13. It’s Michigan, dare to be above average.

What’s changed? What’s different? Gang (the folksier, more communal Midwestern equivalent of “y’all”), I see a Wolverines team with a better record, but little else.

Michigan remains closer to the team we saw against Notre Dame than what we’ve seen in their four wins. How do the Wolverines maintain standing order in the same group as Ohio State and Penn State? A few steps or rungs below. Pick the hypothetical structure. I promote independent thinking.

You can hope for greater returns from the offense, but the image of Notre Dame’s defensive front applying for a building permit in the Michigan backfield springs to mind. Ohio State and Penn State’s fronts will have the same access, and the latter will be much more adept at defending the screen and life outside the hash marks.

Michigan’s only path to a 3-1 or even 2-2 record against Wisconsin, Penn State, Michigan State, and Ohio State is by doubling-down on its talented defense to set up easy scores for the offense.  

The team yields an average of 3.58 average yards per play from opposing offenses. That’s best in the nation, but I’m asking for more.

Needy? Yes. In dire circumstances? Double yes.

The stone wall of a defense might make it difficult to move the ball down field, but what has it yielded in terms of turnovers?

Four interceptions.

One recovered fumble. Random, I know. A total that needs to spike. 

Those numbers coupled with the penalty disparity between Michigan and their opponents (the Wolverines average 84 yards in penalties per game while their opponents average only 46.8) lessens the amount of damage done by the defense. We’re talking total team penalties, but it does prohibit the field position game that Michigan wants to play on its opponents. Something needs to change so let’s look ahead.

My position allows me to sidestep coaching cliches. We will not take it one game at a time. Michigan will survive Maryland, Rutgers, and Indiana. Those games should be routes. What about the games against the B1G Heavies?

I get the idea, Harbaugh likes his chances with quarterback Shea Patterson to generate three scores and wants his defense to keep opponents out of the endzone. Now it’s okay to gamble. Let defensive coordinator Don Brown get a little more exotic in his blitz packages and take chances in the secondary with schemes that might expose receivers downfield while yielding a bigger return in the form of a turnover.

It’s the only way to join the conference elite.