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The only thing more persistent than Ohio State’s offense on Saturday was Fox play-by-play man Gus Johnson moonlighting as social caretaker for Urban Meyer’s image. We as a nation love to endure a redemption tale when the star was the one who dug the hole and flung himself into it. I’m low on Pepto-Bismol (for nausea, you creeps) and can’t endure the story. Let’s shift to the unfulfilled tour that originated in Ann Arbor.
Things were supposed to be different. The names of the fallen read Wisconsin, Michigan State, and Penn State, dethroned by a team wrapped up in revenge and the therapeutic stylings of crossing names off a schedule.
The defense was loaded by conference standards. Enough pressure up front with two projected first-round draft picks that made the aggressive coordinator’s approach to blitzing a real problem for opposing offenses.
The head coach, the faithful returnee to make it proud to be the man out of men at a school with an unhealthy regard for men who attended the same post-secondary institution, had his quarterback, a physical running game, and the sort of balance emblematic of top tier programs. Morale was high.
And then Saturday happened.
Happened not in the way of a heartbreaking last-second loss, but trading jabs for the first part of the game, only to be met with haymakers the likes the team on the redemption tour never saw this season.
Michigan squandered its best chance to beat Ohio State in head coach Jim Harbaugh’s tenure. It seems unlikely a better chance approaches unless the Ohio State Board of Trustees asks Zach Smith to chair its committee and control its presence on social media. The Buckeyes self-inflicted peak chaos this season and still took the last game of the season against their rivals to announce their presence as the best team in an underwhelming conference. Something must be done.
Brutal losses like these are the sort that force the twitter extremists to yell into the internet we hope Ralph permanently breaks. While the excessive use of exclamation points and dog avatars diminishes any argument by at least 36 percent, Michigan need to make subtle changes to show their fan base the regular season finale will not go unnoticed.
Sweeping changes are not necessary, but for the love of the veer and triple option and the heavy offensive formations Harbaugh leans on, it’s time to name an offensive coordinator. Harbaugh will maintain his coyness when it comes to who does what in the football building, but the addition of someone with offensive gravitas and a title that at the very least communicates autonomy in the play-calling will bring continuity to a disjointed brand. Unknown Coordinator X should also play to the strengths and stylings of quarterback Shea Patterson.
It seemed like Harbaugh never felt comfortable fully taking the plastic wrap off of Patterson to put all of his skills on display. The idea can be refuted with Michigan’s defense holding teams to catastrophically low numbers (save Saturday in Columbus) not needing a quarterback to fling it with total disregard, but Patterson had to work out of very few tight situations this year, save for the game against Northwestern and the stalwart of defensive football, the Indiana Hoosiers. Harbaugh will need to be less risk-averse next season and establish an offense more capable of the big play. The defense is to blame for Saturday since the unit picked one hell of a time to expose all of its deficiencies, but we can grant them the benefit of the doubt for the long haul.
Tweaks, not overhauls, are necessary. The score in the game in Columbus highlighted an inability to change on the fly and tend to the little details. Special teams gave up one touchdown. The Wolverines had no answer for previously immobile Ohio State quarterback Dwayne Haskins taking off from behind the line of scrimmage on designed draws. The disparity between the two teams cut across all facets of the program. If that was Harbaugh’s best chance to beat Ohio State, the Wolverines need to take immediate measures to narrow the gap and it starts with the offense.
Nick is a writer for saturdaytradition.com. Your overuse of GIFs forced him away from Twitter. He removed himself from consideration in the Vanderbilt heading coaching search.