Ohio State football: 5 reasons to the thankful you're not a Michigan fan

Nothing like rivalry week, although in the case of OSU/UM, it’s more like rivalry life. But it’s Thanksgiving, so Buckeye Nation, here’s your chance to be thankful … that you’re not a fan of TTUN. Here’s 5 reasons you’re glad to not be a Michigan fan:

1) Jim Harbaugh

Let’s be blunt– the guy’s weird. Admittedly, there’s a dividing line between colorful and freaking odd. But Harbaugh not only walked up to that line, he moved 10 miles across it, and sometimes stares at it through binoculars. Whether it was wearing the same clothes, sleeping at a recruit’s house, eating boogers on television, or trying to dance …

… Harbaugh is genuinely weird. It’s the sort of shtick that if he was coaching at Northwestern or Indiana, you’d think, “Aw, he’s trying to be a character, trying to promote the program by any means necessary.” But holy Bo Schembechler, there’s no need for that kind of crap in OSU/UM circles. Is there?

2) The Big House

Yes, every school is proud of their home stadium. In the case of UM, the Big House’s status as, well, the biggest house is like the shiny red Corvette in the driveyard of the yokel neighbor who never leaves home. Yes, the stadium is huge. But it’s old and it’s oddly quiet. The bowl design of the stadium seems to let noise disintegrate into the air instead of circling around opposing teams. Maybe that’s why the Buckeyes have only lost once there since 2003.

3) ‘Hail to the Victors’

There are annoying school fight songs and there’s “Hail to the Victors.” How annoying and omnipresent is the song? If you combined Tennessee’s “Rocky Top” fixation with Mississippi State’s love of the cowbell, you’d be getting into the right neighborhood. The only thing worse than the song is how many times you’ll hear it.

4) The 2020 game that wasn’t

The only thing Ohio State fans hate more than Michigan is not getting to play Michigan. So when the Wolverines limped into the last week of the abbreviated 2020 season, they could either take their 2-4 team to Columbus to face a daunting Ohio State squad. Or cancel the game, potentially hurt OSU’s national title hopes, and avoid a beating. Sure, UM people have denied these charges. And it’s not like this idea came up at the last second — the Wolverines actually cancelled 3 games. But still, the suspicion that UM ducked OSU didn’t exactly calm the rivalry.

5) 15 out of 16

All the other reasons aside, perhaps the biggest reason to be thankful that you’re not a Michigan fan is that you’re not stuck rooting for little brother. OSU has won 15 of the last 16 games in the series. That’s not a rivalry — that’s like claiming it’s a rivalry between the schoolyard nerd and the class bully. Michigan hasn’t finished a season in the top 5 since 1999. If you’re looking for an SEC metaphor, they’ve got Alabama’s sense of entitlement combined with Mississippi State’s trophy case. Ohio State is an annual CFP contender, and has won multiple national titles since the last time Michigan had an entire season of college football relevance.